For those allergic to the idea of TransMilenio: it's fine, you'll be fine, here's what to know:

1. Get a Tu Llave card on day 1 (Carulla and other places sell them). Top it up at any station.
2. Avoid the Caracas and 80 routes at peak (7-9am, 5-7pm) unless you enjoy being a sardine.
3. Off-peak: it's actually fast, often faster than Uber, and 2700 COP a ride.
4. Have your phone in your front pocket. Always.

It's not the subway. It's better than people say. It's worse than people in cities with subways want.